Celebrities dating black women
One of these same white men also asked me, "How did a fat black woman land a hot piece like that? I lost her the day I decided to live life on my own terms.
We have racism, homophobia, cultural privilege, sexism and it goes on. Black people aren't gay." This makes me nothing more than a traitor to my race. Even though I deal with racist comments, homophobic slurs and a general apathy for my masculine-identified appearance on an almost daily basis, I have never felt as inferior as I do on some days when I am standing in a crowded streetcar, sitting in a romantic restaurant or lying on the grass in the park smiling at my wife.One friend accused me of undermining the struggle of the black gay community by even considering to date a white woman, least of all marrying her. Because the truth is more people are staring at me than her; I married up.My name has slowly been removed from several invite lists. There are people in this world that will tolerate you on their terms. If ever I wanted to dispel this moment with a bout of sweeping self-confidence, I can always depend on a customer service rep. White gym-bodied men that feel their sweat and "Gold's gym" t-shirt gives them the right to hit on my wife in front of me.Not to mention those who barely acknowledge my wife if we are unfortunate enough to encounter each other in public. in the Village as I do walking through a small Canadian town that doesn't have a pride parade. (any will do) to prioritize speaking to my wife, completely ignoring me even if I broke the proverbial ice.4. We were at a bar once and a gentleman actually asked me to step aside, so he could speak to my wife. I probably lost my mother before I married a white woman."You absorb the light; I reflect it." It's a joke my wife recently made after several failed attempts at taking an "usie" outdoors while the sun shined down on us. "There are good black women out there you know," she says to me.It was too hard to find an angle that could balance our contrasting skin tones. In several of our photos, (that don't make it to social media) she can be seen glowing. This is the beginning of a short conversation I have with a stranger on the train after my wife kisses me goodbye and exits at her stop. Last Pride, I was showing a picture of Rebecca to one of these former friends. There are so many great black girls and they like you." That was our last conversation and heralded the end of our friendship.
In 2015, interracial relationships should be the nature of things.
These are the moments that have been a constant since we first met. It was only the beginning of a rollercoaster of change in my life.
Since falling in love with the woman who would become my wife, there has been an inexplicable beauty in the world.
Unfortunately, I have also been reminded that the beauty is visible because of all that is ugly.1. The safe thing to assume is these were never your friends, but that doesn't change that it hurts. I still uphold principles that the community holds dear.
I have lost gay and straight friends since meeting and marrying the love of my life. When you belong to a small community that has fought for visibility, for freedom, for the right to love and be loved, one doesn't expect division. But, to go completely to the left and marry a white woman is to prove that I really am gay, I truly am the "other". I have been the subject of stares and whispers my entire life.
But the truth is, my community isn't any different from the straight community. As it has been said to me more than once in my life: "To be gay is a white people thing. But stares, whispers and rumours feel different when you are brooding than when you are happy and at peace with life. Wherever we go, there is a collective stare of disapproval burning a hole into the back of our necks.